Small Finishes Matter

Recap

Welcome back to Simple Discipleship. We're on episode five of this series on finishing well, and so far we've looked at why most leaders don't finish well, the dangers of pride and being out of rhythm, and last week we saw Josiah - the king who turned it around, showing us that it's never too late.

We tend to think about finishing well as something that happens at the end of our lives but we're actually finishing things all the time, so I want to focus on the smaller finishes this week.

We finish jobs, we finish roles, one season comes to an end and another begins - we move from one home in one street to a different home in another street. We leave churches, we step down from teams, we close chapters constantly.

And how we finish one thing often influences how we start the next.

So today we're talking about finishing things along the way. If we want to finish our lives well, we need to practice finishing well in the smaller endings too.

The Race I Finished Early

It was school sports day, and someone needed to run the 400 metres. No one was volunteering, so I put my hand up to rescue the poor PE teacher who was trying to fill the spots.

Now, I'm not a runner, but apparently everyone else was even less of a runner, because I ended up winning. By quite a lot actually - I was about half a lap ahead of everyone else.

As I'm coming round the final bend, I see my PE teacher on the sidelines cheering. So naturally, I run over to her. You know, for the celebration.

Except - and this is where it gets embarrassing - she wasn't standing at the finish line. She was about five metres before it.

And I got disqualified for crossing the track. Right there. Five metres from the end of a race I was winning. I'd stopped running before I'd actually finished.

Now, it's a ridiculous story about a school sports day race but it's stuck with me because it's such a clear picture of what we do sometimes in life.

We're doing well. We're nearly at the end of something. And we check out just before the finish line.

Don't Check Out Early

When you know you're coming to the end of a role or a season, it's so easy to mentally check out.

Maybe you've handed in your notice at work and you've got a few weeks left. What's the temptation? To coast. To do the bare minimum and maybe let things slide a bit because hey, you're leaving anyway, it doesn't really matter does it?

Or maybe you're stepping down from a team at church. You've been serving for years, and you're tired. So in those final few months, you stop showing up with the same energy. You start turning up late, or not at all.

Or maybe you're leaving a neighbourhood, moving to a new city. And suddenly you stop investing in the relationships you've built because you're already focused on what's next.

I get it. I've done it, we all have.

Paul says this in 2 Timothy 4:7 (NIV):

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

Let's not miss that word: finish. Not "I have mostly mostly finished the race" or "I finished the race apart from that last bit".

Paul uses the imagery of a race a lot during his letters. It comes up again in 1 Corinthians 9.

1 Corinthians 9:24 (NIV)

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Prizewinning runners don't walk across the finish line, they give it one final burst of energy, one last push with their chests out. They definitely don't pull a Jo and stop 5 metres before it. Paul ran to the end.

If we're going to finish well, we need to stay present and show up fully until the end.

The Temptation To Speak

There's another temptation when we're finishing something, the temptation to finally say what we've wanted to say for years.

You know what I mean. You're leaving an organisation, and suddenly all the problems you've been holding back about come flooding out. You think, "Well, there are no consequences now. I can finally be honest. I'm leaving, what are they gonna do?".

And look, there might be legitimate things that need to be said. I'm not saying we should never give feedback or speak truth. But when we do so are we speaking to build up, or are we speaking because we finally can without consequences?

Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) says:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

When we hurt someone with our words - even if we're leaving - that's still a consequence we have to live with. We carry that bitterness, and often we carry into our next thing.

We can say what needs to be said in love and humility.

Peak-End Principle

Do you remember back in episode one when we talked about the peak-end principle? It's the psychological phenomenon where we remember a person or an event based on the peak moment (good or bad) and the ending.

Which mean the ending can redeem or taint the whole experience.

That's why when leaders fall, it almost always undoes all the good they've done. The ending overshadows everything else.

But it works the other way too. A good ending can leave a lasting positive impression.

Think about the people who've left well in your life. Maybe it was a manager who finished their time with you by writing you a card telling you what they saw in you. Or a friend who moved away but took the time to say goodbye properly. Or a pastor who stepped down but blessed the next person coming in and led the transition with love.

Those endings leave a good taste, they're memorable in the best way. People won't necessarily remember all the good work you did for five years but they will remember how you left.

So, how you leave matters.

We are ambassadors of God, the way we finish represents Him

When we leave poorly, we misrepresent Him. When we leave well, we reflect God's character. The God who was able to say "it is finished", not "it’s mostly done". 

Go Out With Blessing

So whether you're leaving an organisation, stepping down from a paid or voluntary role, moving from one neighbourhood to another, or transitioning away from a church - go out with blessing, not bitterness.

And I know that's easier said than done, especially if you're leaving because of hurt or disappointment or disagreement. But even then - especially then - how you leave matters.

Hebrews 12:15 (NIV) warns us:

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Bitterness doesn't just affect you. It spreads and defiles many.

But blessing opens doors. It keeps relationships intact and it even allows you to leave things better than you found them.

Practical Ways To Finish Well

So let me give you a few practical tips for finishing things well.

First, stay present and show up fully until the end.

Don't mentally check out before you've physically left. If you're still there, be there. Do the work, show up on time, serve with the same energy you had at the start. Keep engaging and contributing and keep caring about the work and the people.

I know it's hard, especially if you're tired, or if you're excited about what's next, or if the thing you're finishing has been difficult, but run to the end. Don't walk the final lap.

Second, encourage people as you go.

Take the time to tell people what you've loved about your time with them. What do you appreciate about them? What do you see in them that maybe they don't see in themselves?

The tongue has the power of life and death, so choose life.

Third, if you want to give feedback, offer it from a place of love.

Remember Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) says:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

There's a difference between feedback and criticism. Feedback is given for someone's growth, criticism is often given to make ourselves feel better.

If your feedback isn't going to build someone up, if it's not going to benefit them, then maybe it's better left unsaid.

And if you do give feedback, do it humbly and in love. Give it in a way that they can actually receive it, don't just unload because you finally can.

Fourth, if you can, give yourself some transition time.

This one isn't always possible, I know. But if you can build in some space between finishing one thing and starting the next, it helps you actually finish well.

When we finish something on a Friday and start something new on Monday, it's hard to be fully present in either. We're trying to transition while we're still there, and we end up doing neither thing particularly well.

Now, I know we can't all have space between things, sometimes life doesn't work that way, but if you can - even if it's just a few days - give yourself time to process the ending before you jump into the beginning.

It will help you stay present until the end.

How We Finish Affects How We Start

How we finish one thing influences how we start the next.

If you leave a job in bitterness, you'll carry that into your next role. You'll be more guarded, more cynical, and probably less willing to trust.

If you leave a church wounded and angry, you'll struggle to settle into the next one. You'll be looking for problems and holding back.

But if you leave well - with gratitude, and blessing, and closure - you'll step into the next thing with a clean slate. With freedom and renewed hope.

The endings you create shape the beginnings that you step into.

Application

So let me ask you - what are you finishing right now?

Maybe it's a job or a role at church. Maybe it's a season of life, a relationship, a project or a commitment. Maybe it's something small, something no one else would even notice.

Are you going to check out early and coast to the end? Or are you going to stay present and run to the finish line?

Are you going to leave bitterly, finally saying what you've wanted to say? Or are you going to leave with blessing and grace?

How you finish this thing will influence how you start the next thing. The bitterness you carry out becomes the bitterness you carry in but that also means that the blessing you leave behind becomes the blessing you step into.

And, most importantly, the way we finish represents the God we serve.

So finish well. Not perfectly - we're not aiming for perfection - but faithfully, fully, and with grace.

Run to the end, don't walk, or stop 5 metres before like I did.

Question

What are you finishing right now, and how will you finish it well?

Prayer

Thank you Lord that you finished what you started, help us to finish well too. Not just our lives, but the roles, the seasons, the jobs, the relationships we're ending along the way. Give us the grace to stay present, the courage to bless even when it's hard, and the wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay silent. Help us to run our races to the end, and to cross every finish line well. In Jesus's name, amen.